Don't

I know you see a devil, 

each time you look at me.

Tell me, what makes you believe

that you can tame a beast?

Who's to say

when I transform

I won't turn on you and feast?

Don't wake Him

who howls inside my dreams,

Because I'll then become a dark thing,

which you can't defeat.

There's  a reason that they fear me,

They've  seen what you have not.

I let a demon dwell inside my chest,

So my heart won't break and rot. 

Don't tempt Him
who wants to see you bleed.

He sees every scar you conceal
then whispers them to me.
The bitterness your eyes reveal
Could set a monster free.



He wants you to
Kick and Push,
batter me with disdain.
Spite me for my bleeding heart,
so He can

inflict pain.

It isn't Me you should approach
caution in your eyes.
But the one that held me
close
when others said good-bye...

Like Hell

No image of Hell,

illustrates,

the words I can't say.

Or how fear lacerates

and makes,

 me run away.

My Hell has no flames,

it's just me and my shame,

making me the architect,

of my own 

Judgement Day.

I hate,

hating myself.

Separating myself,

from 

life, love, people,

and being stuck in a 

shell

of myself.

I am not my mistakes.

All I've got is insane,

so I rot in this cage

that is made

of disdain,

For all that I am

and all that I take.

Still I scream that I can

even though my voice shakes.

then it breaks

from the weight

of your pain.

I'm ashamed

of this hate 

that has made

me this way.

I'm trying my best

to ignore the regret

tearing a fucking

hole in my chest!

Why can't you see

this is me?

Just torment, madness,

a fucking disease!

Hate Me

Just like a witch
you curse
me
and send wickedness
my way.
So, I've built a whip with your words
with it
I punish myself each day

What do you gain
from being vain?
When the truth you've
slain
has bled
and stained,
the very fabric
we've obtained
from suffering and
and sharing pain?

Am I really a monster?
Or are you the one
with envy fostered
hoping
I will be
shunned?

They say you hate me
and that you're angry
now that I'm changing
and you're remaining
invisible
while your will is breaking.

Let me give you a reason
to feel this way
Let me inspire this treason
and give you
someone
to blame.

You're just my shadow
here comes rejection.
I'm the brightest star
and you're my dull
reflection.


I'll be the enemy, you need to
get through the day.
I'll be the villain,
you can be the hero,
everyone will celebrate.

You want me to hate you?
Okay, I plan to.
You want me to change too?
Well good luck
with that, dude...

11 years...(small revision)

Broken to the point,

 I ache.

Tremble at the sound

Of thunder screams, the steps I take,

are bent so low, I bow.

Throbbing,
 hollow shadows fill my head
with muddy clouds,
Made of lies, and fears, and dying dreams
Where is the darkness now?

Searching for sanctuary,
 I pray for a release.
Bleeding, begging, hoping,
For new song that I can sing.

I search for paths,
 I can't find the way.
I'm filled with so much shame.
Learning what fate becomes,
when labor is refrained.

each and every day,
"You're just a bitch,
give me my way."
Then I shutter,
my heartbeat stutters,
No gain comes from my pain

Fear is your friend

Faith says death is the beginning.

Death says he's the end.

But hope tells us the ending,

is where our destiny begins.

And if the first two are lies,

and the last can't be changed,

Then hope may define,

why our lives are mundane.

You see,

Hope,

is the enemy.

and,

fear is your friend.

Because hope leaves you waiting,

but fear helps you win.

  MORAL OF THE STORY:
 Fear makes adrenaline-Adrenaline helpls you survive-

and hope, well hope is just a word victims use

♥ Stay weird.

The Lie of Hope&Fear

If a scar is just a memory,

then a tear must be the same.

They tell you fear can't hurt you,

even though you're covered in proof of the pain.

And while agony bleeds through your eyes,

and you choke on the force of their lies,

You make memories on your wrists,

and decorate your fists,

because the well of hope in your eyes,

has run dry.

If pain is how one becomes strong,

then strength can be gained from a song.

The cadence of heartache, blasphemy, and hatred.

Is what gives most of us the might to go on.